He Held On

He held on. Wouldn't let go. Not until he got his blessing. Jacob went through something that forever changed how he related to God. The Lord weakened him physically to strengthen him spiritually.

Expecting the worst from his brother Esau, Jacob not only prepared practically (sending Esau gifts ahead of his arrival) but he talked to God. A lot. Then one night the Bible says he wrestled with a mysterious man. As the fight continued, the man touched and dislocated Jacob's hip. And that was enough to convince Jacob that this was no ordinary man, but in fact he saw God, so he held on, refusing to let go until he received his blessing. Well, after fight night, battle-tested and blessed, Jacob had two new things: A limp and a name.

The limp is significant to me personally, because Jacob knew that in his new physical state, he would never be able to defend himself against Esau. He had to rely on God alone to fight his battles. Not sure about you, but I know more than ever that I'm weaker than I think. In my own strength, I’m toast.

Funny, I spent the better part of my career writing about strength, teaching powerful tactics, educating the masses about mechanical advantage. For nearly a decade, one of my monthly articles at Muscle & Fitness Magazine was actually called, “Strongman” for crying out loud! (I’ll give everyone time for a good chuckle.)

But now what? I mean, I don’t knock my publishing career or my education, but I used to point up to the sky after a lift. But where was my praise in my missed attempts? That might sound a little harsh, but I know the heart that beats inside this chest. And in so many ways, I was so bogus. I mean, what about the bar we can’t budge? Shouldn’t that compel us to look up with a grin and shake our heads in wonder?

At the risk of offending the strongmen reading this (although I reckon I’ve cleared them out by now) imagine how much weight there is above our PRs and tell me how strong we are. Right? Compare what we can lift to what we can’t. It’s immeasurable. Our inabilities truly open my eyes. Our weaknesses, disabilities and infirmities help us see higher, don’t they? And isn’t that the idea?

MOST RICHLY BLESSED
There’s a wonderful poem called, “Most Richly Blessed” written by an unknown Civil War Veteran. A few lines from it are:

“I asked God for strength, that I might achieve. I was made weak, that I might learn humbly to obey. I asked for health, that I might do great things. I was given infirmity, that I might do better things. I asked for power, that I might have the praise of men. I was given weakness, that I might feel the need for God.”

Like Jacob, even Paul understood that we rely more on God when we embrace our smallness. What did he say? "I am content in my weakness...for when I'm weak, I'm strong." Maybe it’s just me, but we know that verse so well that we almost dismiss it as easily as we recognize it. But while I don’t yet fully accept it, I am becoming intimately aware of what the verse means, because I’m holding on. I’m at a point in my life, physically, emotionally, spiritually that I feel like I’m trying to squeeze a very thin thread. Not sure if that makes sense, but I have a feeling it may connect with some of you as you read this sentence.

TIGHT
Guys, I want nothing more than to realize the significance of my frailty so that I can do my small part in uniting the fitness industry with those impacted by special needs. It’s all I think about. This period of my life is fight night.

You know, Jacob's name went from "heel catcher, Jacob" to "he who struggles with God, Israel."  Yeah, I’m holding on. Are you? Maybe to a dream? A calling or vocation? Maybe you’re battling an illness; something you didn’t see coming or something you probably could have prevented. Maybe you’re having trouble forgiving someone. Maybe that someone is yourself.

Whatever it is, for what it’s worth, the weaker I get, the more I realize there's no better way to walk through life than with a limp that says you've been with God.

Yeah, I really can’t budge the bar anymore. I suppose I’ll just point up to the sky and grin.

- Jimmy Peña

PRAYER REQUESTS:
If you have something you’d like us to pray for, please let us know. Say “unspoken” if you’d rather not get specific. And you can please be praying about some wonderful things we have planned in the coming weeks, I’d appreciate it.